


Stubborn to a Fault

by Yogaduck



Category: Inspector Alleyn Mysteries - Ngaio Marsh
Genre: Angst, Confusion, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2020-03-17 04:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18958096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yogaduck/pseuds/Yogaduck
Summary: *SPOILERS* for 'Hand in Glove' s2 ep2 - what if Fox hadn't interrupted Rory and Troy's scene together after a very narrow escape? Was Rory's rage during this scene indicative of concerns he had about Troy and himself? Where does this leave them now?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello small fandom, me again, hoping to remedy the lack of fics for these two :)

"I'M SORRY" She screamed for what must have been the fifth time in the space of two minutes.

"IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?! SORRY?!" He yelled as he stalked up to her, his face inches from hers, she recoiled back slightly at his proximity and his sharp words.

He pulled back and paced further down the room towards the door, his back to her as he stretched a hand up and covered his mouth in disbelief. He couldn't sooth the adrenaline coursing through him. He knew she was incredibly shaken by the experience and it was doing no good to shout at her in this way but she had to know how reckless she had been.

"I'm sorry" she repeated with none of the passion with which she had been speaking earlier. Her voice cracked and trembled, tearful, betraying her emotions.

At her dejected reply Rory half turned to face her. Perhaps he had pushed her too hard; she wasn't really to know that she would be walking into death's jaws tonight did she? He looked at her slumped posture, her arms wrapped around herself; attempting to make herself smaller, her trembling lip and tearful eyes for a moment before the dam broke.

"Damn it Troy, you could have been killed!" He said desperately as he rushed forward sweeping her up into his arms. She gasped as he crashed her to him but she clung to him with equal fervour.

He clasped her tightly to his chest, desperately. Drawing her closer, he had to know she was real, breathing, alive. He breathed in her intoxicating scent - lavender, oil paint and, well...Troy. He didn't realise she was trembling at first but he soon felt fragile tremors wracking through her, so he held her even more tightly.

His heart was still pounding and his breathing was still ragged. He closed his eyes tightly as he clung to her. The adrenaline coursed through his veins. He had so very nearly lost her. The image of Connie standing there with the meat cleaver in her hand staring at Troy made his heart stop. Troy, his dearest Troy, confoundedly stubborn Troy. His mind tortured him with images of her delicate neck cut open with the knife, crimson blood pouring down her pale skin.

He shuddered and buried his face in her shoulder. They stood there for a long time neither speaking, just clinging to one another for dear life. What if he'd been but five minutes later? Would they be carrying out Troy's limp body along with Andrew's? He couldn't bear that thought. His heart ached with relief that they had arrived just in time. He knew Troy held a very precious place in his heart, he had suspected for some time. When he had seen her with Captain Withers his mind became riddled with anxiety and jealousy... but until this moment he hadn't quite realised just how lost he would be without her. A world without Troy would barely be worth living. Nothing made sense without her. He had come so close, so terrifyingly close, to that reality.

He drew back just enough to look into her astonishing eyes only for his breath to hitch when he saw her tear stained face. Seeing her tears caused a sharp pain to his heart, he couldn't bear to see her sorrow, her fear. He lifted a hand to her cheek and brushed the the back of his fingers carefully across her tear tracks. He stared into her deep grey eyes drowning in their beauty. He sighed deeply and leaned his forehead against hers closing his eyes. His heart was still racing so he concentrated on breathing slowly and deeply. He brushed his nose up against hers gently and continued to stroke her cheek. "Troy..." he murmured softly, "Troy... my dearest Troy..." he couldn't find the words, he wanted to tell her exactly how scared he was, how much she meant to him but the words stuck in his throat.

"Rory, I'm so sorry... I was so scared... I should never have got involved... I didn't realise... I..." her voice cracked and she buried her face in his chest to stifle a sob.

"Troy, Troy... shhh no more apologising. I'm sorry I shouted I was just, so... scared. Realising how close you were to being killed, I nearly lost you Troy! I nearly lost you! I was terrified!" She looked up at him at his admission, eyes full of wonder. She didn't try to hide her sobs this time but let her emotions flow freely. Her face twisted as another sob escaped her and the sight of it sent another stabbing pain into Rory's heart, so acute that tears sprung into his own eyes.

"No... please, Troy don't cry... you don't know how much it pains me to see you so distressed" he stroked her cheek again with exquisite tenderness. This did nothing to stop Troy's tears as his gentle touch made her come quite undone. After all of the events that had occurred that day... of nearly being killed because she had ignored Rory's advice to stay out of it... that he could be anything other than livid astounded her. His initial anger had hurt her despite knowing she deserved every word.

He clutched her to him once again, tucking her head under his chin, placing a hand on her head, stroking her hair.

"Rory..." she mumbled into his shirt.

"Mmm?" He replied as she pulled back to look up at him.

"Thank you... for coming when you did. If you hadn't, I don't know... I could have... she would have..." she bit her lip looking down.

"No," he interjected, "don't say it..." he closed his eyes briefly, "I couldn't have born it. I couldn't have... if you had... just know a part of me would have also died along with you."

"Oh Rory," she sighed "Don't say such things," she shook her head.

"No Troy, no... it's true." He lifted her chin so she was looking up at him. She had the same expression on her face that she had when they stood outside Mildred's house a few months ago, when he told her how whenever he found himself in trouble he just wanted to be with her. That although her eyes were grey they had little green flecks in them, and that when she smiled, her face went crooked. That same mixture of devotion and delight shone from her now while her mouth curved into a small, coy smile.

He found himself staring at that smile, at those lips, and his own smile faltered. He leaned down as she tilted her head up to meet him. This was unlike the kiss they'd shared outside Mildred's house, unlike the chaste greetings and farewells. It started off tender, sweet, but soon became desperate. Both pouring out the emotions they felt after that evenings events. Rory put every ounce of his fear, of his terror at losing Troy into that kiss; whilst Troy put all the terror of that near-death experience and all the regret she felt at ignoring his warnings. Rory cupped her petite face in his large calloused hands, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She wound her arms around his neck and dove her fingers into his hair. She murmured with delight as one of his hands reached the nape of her neck and her hairline, stroking the skin there.

Together they deepened the kiss, allowing the other to explore. Troy felt she could cry again at the feeling of his strong arms around her, she was overwhelmed with a profound sense of safety. They pulled back to catch their breath and leaned against each others foreheads once again. Rory took in shallow breaths, seemingly also overwhelmed with emotion. Troy couldn't hold back the tears that threatened and one slipped from her lashes as she looked up at him smiling. It didn't have the chance to roll down her cheek though as Rory bent to kiss the tear away before kissing her again. This kiss was less passionate but no less heartfelt. She smiled into his kiss and pulled away with a chuckle.

They embraced again, holding each other tight for fear that they may slip away at any moment. Then came the sound of the door opening and Brer's polite cough. Rory turned to face him without letting go of Troy.

"Ahem... the..ahh.. transport for Miss Castell has arrived Sir..." he said softly aware of the delicate moment he had walked in on.

"Thank you Brer" Rory replied as Inspector Fox turned to walk from the room. He held onto Troy for as long as possible, both reluctant to release the other, keeping contact till only their hands were clasped together. Rory looked into Troy's eyes with encouragement but was only met with deer like fright again. He squeezed her hand before letting go and walking from the room.

Troy felt the loss of Rory's embrace immediately. She felt cold and as he stepped away and through the door she crossed her arms over herself protectively before bringing her right hand up to the nape of her neck as she often did when thinking or nervous.

Feeling suddenly dizzy she stepped forward and lent an arm against the wall bringing her other hand up to her mouth. Tracing her lips she could still feel Rory's soft kiss. She closed her eyes. She was still very shaken and Rory's temporary absence was taking its toll. She started to tremble again; shivering as if caught in a snowstorm despite the warm fire in the hearth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Left to her thoughts Troy begins to over analyse events...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello small fandom :) hope you are well x

Her tremors refused to cease so she put on her coat and wrapped it firmly around herself. Rory's officers were still collecting evidence and securing Miss Cartell so she waited in the sitting room, staring into space. Her mind running in circles. She had nearly lost her life tonight.

She could still hear Rory's voice as he shouted at her with such fierceness. She thought at first that he was too angry to ever forgive her. She had never seen him so angry before. Perhaps he had come to find her entirely too headstrong, too stubborn, intolerably so... that he couldn't handle her meddling any longer. 

That thought made her stop. Maybe he was coming to realise exactly who she was... and disapproved? What was it he had said? He'd never met anyone in his life who was so 'confoundedly stubborn'... Perhaps his later tenderness was a way to calm her down, or maybe he did genuinely care about her safety but... but then that kiss... no. She couldn't for her own sake put that kiss down to anything more than the heat of the moment, the after shock, adrenaline was still running in their blood. She would hate for Rory to regret it later; when he'd had time to think. She knew she wasn't like the other women of his acquaintance, she was controversial, rebellious. Perhaps he hated that?

Oh she was terribly confused... she had certainly caused him a lot of headaches recently. Maybe... if he was realising some of her faults were hard to overcome... it was only fair if they took a break, for their own good. If this evening had taught her anything it was Rory's line of work was very dangerous. 

She was surely doing him a favour, to get out of his hair for a while. Give him time to consider if she was the kind of woman he wanted to be involved with. Troy couldn't help who she was, she was strong willed and independent to a fault. She wasn't in the habit of listening to men, she earnt own her keep painting and created a name for herself. 

She cared for Rory deeply, truth but told she knew it was more than that but she was terrified of admitting it to herself. It was going to hurt to see less of him. She didn't really know what she felt or what she wanted to do. If Rory was having second thoughts about their relationship and what affect it would have, and has had, on his work, this time apart might help. 

She stood up suddenly, her mind made up. She would walk back to her car with Rory and tell him her thoughts. She hoped this was the right decision, she was terrified that he would be relieved by her suggestion and would take the opportunity to become more and more distant before being quit of her entirely. She knew her rebellious, willful personality wasn't what most men liked, she wasn't a complete simpleton. She didn't want to do this really but she was doing it for him. To give him a chance to bow out quietly, if that is what he wished. She would hate for him to feel chained to her in some way while cringing when she showed her true self. That would make her feel ashamed of who she was and that was the last thing she wanted. She wanted to be with a man that loved her for who she was, for her rebelliousness as much as her looks. If such a man existed. 

\------------------

She stood silent and unnaturally straight on the gravel outside Miss Cartell's house watching the officers escorting her into the back of the police car. 

She heard Rory and Inspector Fox speaking softly behind her as they too watched the police car start up and drive away. Rory bid Fox goodnight and walked steadily towards her but she remained staring resolutely at the space where the police car once was. 

Rory took her arm in his and steered her towards her own car. She looked up at him nervously and he beamed at her. This was going to hurt, so very much. But she wanted him to be honest, however painful the truth may be. 

Her steps were slow and deliberate and Rory immediately sensed how tense she was. 

"You'll be alright Troy, once the shock has worn off, I promise you." They reached her motorcar and stopped. She couldn't look at him. He was smiling as he said the words but his smile faltered when she refused to meet his eyes. Sensing there was something else amiss. 

"What is it Troy?" He said hesitantly. 

She closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. "Rory... I... there's something I should say... I've been thinking. I think it would be wise if we didn't see each other for a little while..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Troy and Rory spend some time apart and it has a profound effect on Rory. He can't function knowing he might have lost Troy forever. Whereas Troy is finding it just as hard to let Rory go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, another angsty chapter for you to devour :)

"I think it would be wise if we didn't see each other for a little while..." Her voice was small, tight, fragile. 

He felt like a ton of bricks had just landed on his chest. The weight was astonishing, his heart was doing a remarkable impression of cracking in two whilst hammering against his chest at record speed. 

He had got it all wrong. All horribly, horribly wrong. He had been so terrified after nearly losing her that he had taken liberties. Had forced himself on her. That thought was enough to barrel him to the ground, but he stood firm. He had assumed he knew her feelings, her thoughts, but he was wrong. 

"I... ahh..." He swallowed, barely able to formulate the words. He felt ashamed at his conduct. 

"Is... is that what you want?" He asked searching her face which still was resolutely looking at the ground. 

Troy didn't trust herself to answer, she knew if she did her voice would betray the fact that it was exactly what she didn't want but that she was doing this for him. So she simply sighed and continued to avoid his eyes. 

"I see..." Rory said dejectedly whilst trying to swallow his rising emotions. Tears pricked at his eyes but this was not the time. He blinked a few times in an attempt to dispel them. 

"Goodnight then, Troy" His voice broke slightly as he said her name but hid it with a cough. He couldn't look at her, he knew if he did it would be too much, she wanted to put distance between them and his emotions would only make her feel guilty. 

He turned and walked back up the gravel drive as she climbed into her motor. His heart sank further with each step. He only looked back once the sound of her motorcar faded away into the distance. The pain in his heart was unbearable. 

He loved her. He finally admitted it to himself as he let out a shaky sigh. As he stood in the dark, feeling utterly ashamed of himself and broken, he allowed his tears to form. Tears at having made the one woman in the world that mattered to him uncomfortable, taken advantage of her emotionally vulnerable state, dishonoured her. 

\---------------------

The following week was agony for Rory. He attempted to go about his life as usual but everyday it was becoming harder and harder to wear that mask. He felt like his world was crumbling around him. Nothing was going to plan, his work was suffering and he couldn't remember when he last slept. He couldn't eat. He couldn't concentrate. All of which he tried desperately to hide from others but he was certain Brer had suspected something; he was a detective after all. He was snapping at Bailey and Robinson when they had done nothing to warrant it. 

One afternoon about 10 days after that dreadful night, Brer asked him if he was alright in his usual awkward but concerned way. Rory dismissed his concern by telling some story about coming down with something, he knew it didn't fool Brer but he had the good grace to not pry which Rory was grateful for. 

He returned to his flat that evening with barely enough energy to get through the door. He collapsed onto his settee unceremoniously and buried his face in his hands. 

He didn't know how much longer he could take this. He wished he could see Troy, just a glimpse of her beautiful face would put his heart at ease. Except it wouldn't, he told himself. Seeing her would only remind you of what you don't have. She doesn't want to see you Alleyn and that is nobody's fault but your own. 

He saw her in his mind's eye. Her eyes, her beautiful eyes. He knew he was torturing himself but he couldn't help it. He loved her. He loved her with every fibre of his being. 

He didn't know how to make this right but he had to, he couldn't live without her. It had been 10 days and he felt like he was rapidly running out of oxygen. 

\------------------

Troy threw the paintbrush across the room with a cry of exasperation. She couldn't paint, she couldn't work, all because she he would not leave her thoughts. 

She hadn't heard from him since that night and the longer it went on without word the more Troy despaired. 

She wouldn't admit it to herself before but these last few days she hadn't been able to avoid it, she was in love with Inspector Alleyn. Her mind was so full of him that she couldn't concentrate. Everything she painted came out wrong, it was infuriating. 

Her thoughts were scattered as she heard her doorbell buzz. She hurried to the door in a daze picking up the discarded paintbrush as she went. Troy opened the door to see the last person she expected, Inspector Fox. 

"Why, Inspector, what brings you here?" She asked a little astonished. "Has something happened, is R... Inspector Alleyn alright?" She tried to hide the fear in her voice that something may have happened to Rory as she beckoned the Inspector in. 

"I'm glad you ask Miss," he said with a sigh as they settled opposite each other in Troy's sitting room. 

"Has there been an accident?" She said with a gasp, all attempts at hiding her concern now thoroughly out the window. 

"No, no Miss nothing like that,"

"Thank goodness" sighed Troy before realising she was being a neglectful host, "Tea Inspector?"

"Yes please Miss Troy"

She scuttled around her kitchen whilst Fox seemed unsure how to begin. As she settled the tea tray down on the table between them he seemed to make up his mind. 

"I wasn't sure who else to come to Miss Troy, you see, there hasn't been an accident but I have come about Inspector Alleyn" Troy's hands trembled slightly as she poured the tea from the pot, "You see he's in a bad way Miss"

"How so?" Troy asked staring at the teacups. 

"I don't know what it is Miss, he's a mess. He looks like he hasn't slept in days, he doesn't eat a thing. I can tell he's lost a considerable amount of weight and he snaps at Bailey and Robinson for no reason whatsoever. He can't concentrate at work and he keeps making errors in his paperwork which I have to quietly and subtly correct. The bags under his eyes grow worse by the day. His face is gaunt and ever so pale. He says he's only coming down with something but I know it is much more than that Miss. So much more. Whatever it is I implore you to go and see him Miss. He listens to you. He respects your opinion. Perhaps you could talk some sense into him or find out what on earth has caused this. He is a shell of his former self Miss and it's breaking my heart to see it." Fox looked away as he said the last sentence, seemingly overcome with anxiety over his dear friend. 

Troy's mind was racing. What on earth had happened to Rory? Maybe he couldn't face telling her that he no longer wanted her in his life. Perhaps he felt like he had led her on and now couldn't face the music. Her heart hurt to hear of his distress, she knew he loved his work and to hear it had been suffering because of his recent dilemma was more than enough to convince Troy that the best thing to do was to put him out of his misery. She would go to Rory and tell him she understood, that she didn't blame him for finding her too rebellious, too headstrong and stubborn, she would have the courage he was struggling to find. 

"It's alright Inspector Fox, I will go to him, I will make him see sense enough to look after himself."

"Thank you Miss Troy, I knew you would know what to do" Fox said smiling and finishing the last of his tea. He stood up and wished Troy a good evening and the best of luck, before she knew it Troy was once again alone with her thoughts. 

Whatever her own feelings she knew she had to put Rory's mind at ease. Yes it would hurt, yes it would be the most painful thing she would ever have to do but it was for the best. Telling him to move on, that she understood she was a lot, that he didn't have to feel guilty might just break her. Even if it did she wouldn't let him see. She would cry her tears once she was back at her own flat, alone again with her thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will things work out in the end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been FAR too long and I am so sorry about that! I completely forgot that I hadn't uploaded the last chapter despite having written it forever ago. Thank you to those who have waited patiently!!

Rory was still slumped on his settee, head in hands, heart aching, when he heard his door bell chime. 

He got to his feet with a groan, he had taken off his tie and his collar was open but he found he didn't care. He wiped his hand over his face, rubbing his eyes before pulling the door open. 

All the air rushed from his lungs as he took in the sight before him. 

Troy. 

He had to lean an arm on the door frame as he attempted to breathe properly. What was she doing here? Oh God he must look a sight... and yet she looked as beautiful as ever. 

"Troy..." he gasped, shocked. 

"Rory," she said quietly, she looked him up and down, taking in every detail. He looked awful she thought. His eyes were sunken and his face was so gaunt. He was whiter than a sheet and he looked utterly exhausted. "May I come in?" She asked softly. 

Waking from his trance Rory gathered himself, clearing his throat, "Of course, yes..." he stuttered ushering her in and guiding her to the two armchairs by the hearth. "I... ahh... would offer you tea but... I don't think I have any..." Rory said embarrassed. 

"That's quite alright I just had a cup with Inspector Fox,"

"Brer? Really?" He asked confused, she wasn't especially acquainted with Brer, only through him. They settled down in his two armchairs by the hearth. 

"Yes, Inspector, he came to see me. He is desperately concerned about you. About your health," she said tightly. She took a deep breath, it was now or never she told herself. 

The use of Inspector instead of Rory in this moment sent a sharp pain to his heart. He looked down at his hands.

"I..." he started

"No, let me speak," she said hesitantly, "please, please hear me out, don't interrupt... just... just listen" she closed her eyes briefly. Silence. That was better. 

Rory's heart began to pound, this was where she told him she thought him a cad for taking advantage of her emotionally vulnerable state that night. Where she let him down gently... she would walk out of here and he would never see her again. Yet another sharp, searing pain stabbed through his heart at that thought. If this was the last time he would see her he wanted to drown in her beauty in the little time he had left. He traced every detail of her face with his eyes; committing it to memory. 

"Rory... I... I know what you think of me... I know I am headstrong, stubborn, willful and rebellious. I know how intolerable I can be at times..." she swallowed looking at the floor. "I don't blame you for finding my personality overbearing, you had every right to be angry at me that night for meddling in your investigation when you had specifically told me not to. I... I know what I am. I wanted us to see less of each other to give you the chance to consider whether you really wished to be involved with a woman like myself. I didn't want you to feel obliged to... obligated to... when deep down you found my personality abhorrent. But... but then Inspector Fox came to see me today... he told me how you looked like you hardly sleep, you aren't eating, snapping at Bailey and Robinson without cause and letting your work suffer. I knew right away that you must be wrestling with your conscience. Must be struggling with how you were going to tell me... tell me that what it is we had... wasn't going to work. Well.. I'm here to save you the trouble. I understand Rory... it's alright. We can both move on. You don't owe me anything. But please, please look after yourself, I cannot bear the thought of you wasting away because you didn't want to hurt my feelings." She let out a long sigh as she finished her speech. A weight was lifted off her shoulders that she had been able to tell him and although she could feel her own emotions bubbling up and threatening to spill she knew she had done the right thing. Now she would go and mourn their relationship alone. She was amazed that her voice had remained steady through all of it but her hands betrayed her and began to shake lightly. 

Rory stared at her, his mouth open slightly, completely and utterly bewildered. How... how could she possibly... how... oh his dear, sweet Troy. How could she possibly think that he found her intolerable. It was her independence, her rebellious nature that he loved the most. Yes she could be stubborn sometimes but he loved her for who she was. Yes he had been angry that night, but only because her stubbornness had nearly cost her her life!

He leaned forward in his chair and clasped her hands in his own in one quick movement, so fast that Troy gasped and looked up at him. 

"Troy..."

"It's alright Rory... I understand..." she whispered but couldn't help the tears that formed in her eyes. She was breaking her own heart for him, so that he could be happy. Damn her emotions, she wanted to make this easy for him! She looked down not wanting him to see her tears.

"No Troy... it is you who doesn't understand... I was angry that night, yes, but only because you had nearly been killed! Yes, I became exasperated with your stubbornness but it is your rebellious, headstrong and independent nature that I love most about you. I would never want you to change and I certainly don't want to be quit of you because of it! There is no one like you Troy. Only you. I thought you wanted to see me less because I had dishonoured you that night, whilst you were emotionally vulnerable. I had taken advantage of you, taken liberties. I was so ashamed. The last 10 days have been agony... I haven't been able to sleep, eat or work all because I thought you wanted to be quit of me." He stood up and paced his flat. "I am so sorry Troy... I'm ashamed of what I did..." he turned his back to her his hand covering his mouth. 

"No Rory..." she stood up, her tears having long been set lose. "Don't apologise for that moment, don't apologise for one of the most tender moments of my life..."

Rory turned around to face her, he stared at her in wonder. "Truly Rory? Can you truly not loath my difficult personality? Can you truly... love me?"

"I can and I do" he said coming towards her, taking her hands in his own again. "I love you Troy. I have felt strongly about you for so long but it took you almost being killed for me to realise it was love. I love you with all my heart." He brought one of her hands up to his mouth and kissed it reverently. 

She gasped, "I love you too Rory..." she saw tears form in his eyes as she said the words "I thought I was doing what was best but it hurt so much. I wanted you to be happy but... I too have found the last few days agony. I haven't been able to paint, everything I do comes out wrong." She smiled, "It seems we both need each other to function, to exist."

He leaned down slowly and captured her lips in his. Kissing her softly, slowly, before both of them released all their tension and the kiss became more and more passionate. 

They pulled back slightly and both grinned at the other. She had no intention of ever letting him go again whilst he had no intention of ever letting her.


End file.
